“Go spend some time with my mother. She’s jealous, but I know you can make her feel better. See if she’ll let you feel her boobs. Hers are lots bigger than mine.”He moved back, and turned around to find Mindy staring up at him. He couldn’t read her face.“No man in history has ever been in this situation,” he sighed. “I have no idea what to do.”“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and finish your breakfast,” growled Mindy. But she didn’t sound really unhappy.Jennifer got her own plate and sat down. They ate in silence for five minutes. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer.“Why?” he asked, looking at Mindy.“Why what?” she responded.“Why did you decide to do that last night?”“Which part?”“All of it!” he gasped.“Do you want the long answer, or the short one?”“I don’t know. What’s the short one?”“Because I wanted to.”“Okay, then. It turns out I want the long answer,” he sighed.Mindy glanced at Jennifer, who was eating, but looked very alert.“Like I said last night, it’s complicated,” she. After our fifth date, with nothing in a physical way to show for my efforts, except for a few cases of blue balls, I suggested that she really needed a way to relax. I offered to give her a massage but she declined. ‘How do you relax?’ she asked. ‘Well, there are three ways.’ I explained. ‘One, I’ve suggested to you but you don’t seem interested in going to bed. The second, I just suggested but you don’t seem interested in that either. I really think that you don’t want me to touch you because you’re afraid you just might end up enjoying it.’ I taunted her as I let her know that I was displeased with the status quo. ‘The third is hypnosis.’ I added. ‘Hypnosis?’ she asked. ‘That relaxes you?’ ‘Absolutely. It is one of the greatest relaxers ever invented.’ I said. ‘How long have you been into that?’ she asked. ‘Oh, about 8 or 9 years. I’ll hypnotize you if you like.’ I offered. Linda hesitated and I decided to press my luck. ‘Come on. It won’t kill you. Just lie back on the sofa.
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